Guilt

F16

The title is a bit more dramatic than it needs to be but it is true. Guilt can be paralyzing. After finishing summer teaching, I headed off to the States for a whirlwind visit filled with a family reunion, conference, meet ups with friends, hanging out with my niece, and driving all around the Midwest. Amidst all that, no blogging. Then after a brief hiccup with British Airways (they cancelled my flight but thankfully got me on a different flight), I got back and my colleagues and I hit the ground running. And now… lo and behold, it is the end of October! Wow. Six more weeks left in this semester and the preceding weeks have been packed. All the while, this blog has been sitting in its virtual corner, collecting dust. And along with the virtual dust, real guilt.

It’s funny how something voluntary (like writing a blog) can be a catalyst for feeling guilt. Guilt about not finishing what I started, about not continuing what I started, about not being faithful in my writing, about what I feel like I should do as opposed to what I am doing…

To be honest, I would log in periodically and start a draft of a post. Usually this was followed by putting my computer to sleep and an internal commitment to pick up the next day. You know what they say — “the road to hell is filled with good intentions.” Sometimes I think to myself – I drop the ball on a lot of things – why waste my guilt quota on a blog? But I do. But I’m back (clearly) – I hope. 🙂 In my mind, I think of this as a pre-New Year’s New Year resolution. Or an end-of-the year resolution. Or just picking up my blogging again. Slowly.

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